My Teacher

I have this post looming. Although I'm positive that I'm not ready to write about it yet, it's looming and I just need to get it out. Get it off my chest, even though one little blog post won't cure this pain. Nothing will.

I have this friend, a fellow blogger. A blogger because I wanted her to start one. Last December after she found out her breast cancer had metastasized in her lung and bone. In September, she found out it had moved into her liver. She wrote a daily blog about her experiences with this. The ups. The downs. The side effects. The shopping, lunches out, and vacation trips. She wrote about it all.

In true Jacque fashion, she used it as a way to teach.
Women with breast cancer found comfort in her posts.
Women of faith marvelled at her strength.
Friends and family hung on her every word.

Today was the last post.

My good friend, mentor, co-teacher, Jacque.
Jacque died on Thanksgiving. She passed away in the hospital, surrounded by her two sons and husband.

She was 54 years old.

The way I hear her laugh in my head right now, as I write.
That is why it hurts so much.
I only got the chance to work with her for four months before she had to leave work for her health. She taught me more in those four months than I learned in 3 years of grad school. Than in 29 years of life.

She was the best teacher.

I didn't want her to go.

Now she's gone. And I keep thinking of things. That I should tell her. That she gave me. That she taught me. That would make her laugh. I keep wanting to call her and tell her.

She had a great laugh.

My friend Jacque is in heaven now.
That's the only thing that gives me a moment's peace. That she's at peace.

The rest, well it sucks.
I realize now that I'm not ready to write this.

I'll just say good-bye to my friend.

Thinking of your laugh tonight has made my broken heart smile.

Thanks

It's a quiet Thanksgiving this year, but we're celebrating just the same. My parents will be in town to eat lunch with us. I'm thankful for that. I'm thankful for many things and give thanks every day for blessings. It's hard not to be sad this year, with several close friends and family struggling with their health. I know that's one more thing I need to be thankful for in my own home.

So here's the preschool take on Thanksgiving and I'll leave it at that:

Brenna's recipe for turkey, as told in her preschool cookbook: "You need a fat turkey. Put it in the oven for ten minutes and take it out. Then you eat it."

From Brenna, earlier in the week, "Mama, do you know why turkeys have fear? They have fear and they run and run because we kill 'em and eat 'em."

Yup.

The Boy

Seems like I tell a lot of stories about our B. But we have this adorable boy too.

My love grows exponentially for him day in and day out. I keep thinking it will level off but it does not. It grows and grows.

He is presently in this wonderful toddler phase of language development. My kids have been the same in that area. They talk and talk and talk early on. They just can't speak English. So it's gibberish. Lots and lots of it. So cute. But they start to get frustrated at my lack of knowledge of their native language, so they start to learn English for me. He learns to say more and more words every day.

He just brought me three granola bars from the kitchen and said, "More, more, more." I gave him one and he was happy. He says, "Yeah." I can't get him to say yes. Everything is yeah. I must say yeah a lot.

He says cracker.

And fruit snacks.

And bad dog.

And mommy coming?

I love it!

It's great that he answers yes and no correctly (well, he says yeah) because we have entire conversations that way.

One of the funniest parts is that when we ask him to say words that he knows for people, he says "no". M, can you say octopus? "No."

I love my boy.

Can't wait for whatever's next!

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Worries

But Mommy! I don't know how to spell "Dear"...or "Santa"...pause...or "give"...or "me...

You can see where this is going.

Wordless Wednesday

Grrrrrrrr...

A Treat

Tinkerbell playing in the leaves


sad, rotten pumpkins - ewww

in happier times

Fall is one of the best times of year for photos, isn't it? You've got the changing leaves, beautiful sunsets, bundled up kids. There are all of the extra autumnal activities: school starting, football season, apple picking, pumpkin patch trips, leaf raking, and Halloween!

This year B was Tinkerbell, by request. She's had the costume since June, a little gift I picked up for her at a second hand store. When she asked if it could be her Halloween outfit, three months early, I was all over that.

The Little Man was a tiger, he's got the growl down pat. But we decided he could be one of the lost boys of Neverland, since he was hanging with Tink.

It was a fun Halloween. We are exhausted, and honestly somber. But a nice night of trick-or-treating sure lifted our spirits. Tiny chocolate bars don't hurt either.

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Be grateful tonight, for your lovely little ones. Your healthy little ones, snug in their beds. Be grateful for now. It can so quickly change. Tonight I am so grateful for my family and our home. It's important to recognize the simplicity of that. If your own children are grown, better yet. What a wonderful thing to be so very thankful for.

I am thankful.