Be Well

* Posted this. Then took it down. Now I'm posting it again (so Jenifer won't worry for Mason). I just cannot articulate these emotions. Try as I may. *

Having a sick child is no fun at all. Last year, my little guy had 8 or so ear infections that always led to fevers and grouchiness. The part of it that made it okay was that I knew he was okay. He was prone to ear infections, but never even required tubes. We knew he'd grow out of it and be fine. It was hard to see him uncomfortable, but he never even acted that sick.

Then there was his mole and cyst, on his forehead, which we had removed the day after Christmas. Signing papers to have your child put under general anesthetic is hard. Spending a day in the hospital was hard. Yet again, it was okay because we knew he'd be okay.

When I go to Children's Hospital, I can't help but wonder about every person I see. Is that person a dad? Sister? Aunt? I imagine their stories, each and every one.

The first time I went there to visit my nephew, I saw a dad walking with his daughter outside. It was October, so still relatively nice outside. She had on a mask and was hooked up to a IV, obviously trying to get some fresh air and exercise. My eyes filled with tears. I could feel his love, fear, strength, emotion, just by looking at him.

Courage comes to those whose children are ill. I've seen it. Their eyes are heavy. Their hair unkept. Clothing mismatched and wrinkled. Their resolve is strong.

Spending time at the children's hospital here in Omaha for the past few months has taught me so much.

Any one of us who have children could be in that position tomorrow. Tonight even.
Fear is a powerful thing and you can't let it control you.

Yet...

It does help you recognize blessings.
Big and small.

Tonight I'm praying for my family.
Each of us touched in one way or another by all that has gone on in the past four months.

My sweet nephew, fighting to be well.

When you tuck in your sweeties tonight, give them one extra kiss on their forehead. One extra squeeze.

No matter the circumstance, you can be happy they are there.
Home.
Healthy.
Okay.

Grains of Gratitude

This week I am grateful for:

• I had a great birthday. Hubs got me a digital picture frame, which will be so fun to have at work! I also received cards and phone calls from people who mean so much to me.


• My parents came to town yesterday and stayed with the kids while Hubs and I went out. He had the homecoming dance at his school to supervise, so we had a lunch date. We went to Dave & Buster's. Ever heard of it? It's like Chuck E Cheese for adults. We had lunch and drinks and then played. I beat hubby at air hockey and video car racing. That was fun! We also played Skee Ball, basketball, and those horse races where you roll the ball. It was fun to act like kids again and spend some quality time together.

• Our new chair. We went to a clearance sale at a local furniture mart after our lunch date and ended up with a huge chair and ottoman.


• I'm so glad our new carpet is getting installed this Thursday! On Sunday, I think a few friends are going to stop through, so it will be nice to have our tile/carpet project finished.

Today is a day of rest. We're seeing my parents off and then taking a day off. I'm picturing lots of new chair time. Maybe some chips and salsa.

Some much needed R&R.

Grains of Gratitude - The Pie Edition

I'm grateful this week is over! Isn't that a terrible thing to say?!

It's so true. Last week sucked. I fully intend that this week will be better.

I'm making sure of this by baking a delicious dessert for this evening. It's the second time I've made it and if it is as good as last time, then we are in for a treat!

Brown Butter Creamy Apple Pie
Prep Time: 30 min ; Start to Finish: 3 hr 40 min
Makes: 8 servings Nutrition Information
A crumbly brown sugar streusel tops a classic apple pie made easy in a frozen pie crust.

Filling
1/4 cup butter or margarine
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 egg
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon vanilla
5 cups sliced peeled Granny Smith apples (5 medium)

Crust
1 Pillsbury® Pet-Ritz® frozen deep dish pie crust

Streusel
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup packed brown sugar
3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 cup firm butter

Topping
1/2 cup whipping cream
1 tablespoon powdered sugar
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon vanilla

1 . Heat oven to 400°F. Place cookie sheet in oven to heat. In 1-quart saucepan, cook 1/4 cup butter over medium heat, stirring constantly, until melted and lightly browned. Cool completely, about 15 minutes.
2 . In large bowl, beat 1/2 cup granulated sugar and the egg with wire whisk until light and fluffy. Beat in 2 tablespoons flour and 1 teaspoon vanilla. Beat in cooled butter. Gently stir in apples. Pour into crust-lined pan.
3 . In medium bowl, stir together all streusel ingredients except butter. With pastry blender or fork, cut in 1/4 cup butter until mixture looks like coarse crumbs. Sprinkle over apples. Place pie on cookie sheet in oven.
4 . Bake 20 minutes. Reduce oven temperature to 350°F and cover edge of crust with strips of foil to prevent excessive browning. Bake 40 to 50 minutes longer or until apples are tender and crust is golden brown. Cool 2 hours.
5 . In small bowl, beat whipping cream until soft peaks form. Add remaining topping ingredients; beat until stiff peaks form. Pipe or spoon onto pie.

I make my own pie crust, only because I like my pie crust. Tonight I'm not making the whipped cream, only because I forgot to buy cream. So we'll have vanilla ice cream with it. Yumm! I highly recommend.

I'm glad that there is a pie baking in my oven, it gave me something special to be thankful for!

Have a great week!

Grains of Gratitude

My mom ended up being really sick while we were back this weekend. While this was a huge bummer, I'm glad she was doing better today. It seems like she's recovering from a nasty virus. I'm praying that whatever it was is something that my family has had or can at least fight off!

I was thankful for some time back at my folks'. It's nice to have a change of pace. Yesterday afternoon Mason and I walked the property while the girls finished their naps. I took him down a dirt field road that lines the corn fields around my parents' house. We live in the city and I'm so grateful that my kids get a chance to spend time in such a rural setting too. I don't think we'll be back for harvest this year, since we were just back. But hopefully next year the kids can watch the huge combines level entire fields of corn. It is a sight to see. Especially for my city kids. Nebraska or not, where we live now is very urban to me.

I enjoyed the fall breeze, okay, wind. I enjoyed the smells. The sights.

I got to see my brothers house, which is gorgeous. And to help celebrate my niece's 4th birthday.

I'm thankful for many things tonight, but am perhaps to tired to articulate. It's good to be home.

Grains of Gratitude

This week I am so grateful for:

• The gorgeous fall (even though it is technically still summer) day. We took a nice walk with the dog as a family. Brenna walked instead of riding in the stroller and enjoyed getting some exercise.
• We went to church as a family this morning, which we hadn't done in a while. Although it is hard to keep Mason corralled for an hour, it's still a nice thing to do together.
• I haven't really worked much this weekend, a first in a while. I had three IEPs this last week and I'm really grateful to have those finished. I like helping my students set goals, but oh my! The paperwork.
• We are planning a trip back to my parents' next weekend. We haven't been back in a few months and I am excited to go spend some time with my family and see my brother's new home (which he and his wife built themselves!).

That's the short list. I'm feeling more relaxed after feeling very pouty yesterday. I don't really like missing out on fun plans, but knew it was for the best. I'm grateful that the gloomy mood has lifted.

That's it. Have a great week!

Grains of Gratitude - The MOM Edition

My mom is apparently Super Woman.

When I get tired, she just keeps plugging away. When I'm complaining that my back hurts, or I've grown bored of whatever task we're on - she just keeps plugging away.

She's amazing. I've never met anyone with so much energy!

So she came to town to help me organize and clean up my basement. We did that on Saturday, plus laundry. Then today worked on my upstairs. We did all three bedrooms and the bathrooms. Plus more laundry. Between Goodwill, a second-hand kids' store, and the trash - I got rid of a ton of stuff!

Pictures tomorrow. It looks awesome!

Thanks mom - I am so grateful you came! What we accomplished in two days, I could not have done over weeks and weeks. Oh who am I kidding - I couldn't have done it without you!

I'm grateful for mom. She's just so cool.

Grains of Gratitude

I couldn't let a Sunday go by without posting my grains of gratitude, even if I am on a self-imposed blog-break.

Today was awesome. I met up with Jacque, Nikki, and Stacy for brunch at Mimi's. The quiche was delicious, but the conversation was even better! I love meeting up with my cousins and I love meeting up with my good friend Jacque. Having them all together was just great! We all have started blogging in the last year and it was fun to have the three of them meet.

This afternoon we went out to a water splash park (a city park with sprinkler/water features) for my nephew's birthday. It was so fun to watch my kid's laugh and play. I am so very aware of what great kids I have, even if I don't always feel that way. They are so energetic and full of life. They are independent spirits who look at a day at the park as an adventure and enjoy every minute of it. It's fun to have two fun kids!

I am grateful for what a good weekend we have. Mason is finally feeling better after a long virus/fever thing that had us juggling days off of work last week. I'm glad he's well again.

That's it for now.

I will be back to blogging regularly again next week...see you then!

Grains

We gathered together. We held hands and thanked God for the food we were about to eat. We dined on pork chops, scalloped potatoes, asparagus, with a dessert of warm peach cobbler and creamy vanilla ice cream. We enjoyed some time together.

No rush, no agenda.

These moments seem few and far between. I told hubs that I want to make sure we do it every Sunday night. A big meal around the table together. We had cleaned up the house all afternoon and then enjoyed that meal without clutter piled up around us.

I'm grateful for today. Living in the moment can be so fulfilling.

Grains

This week, as I face going back to work full time, I am trying really hard to be grateful for that. I have a good education and a career that I felt called to do. When I think of the situation that some women are in, living in this very same city, I am so glad that I have a job. Something that I love to do. Something that helps us live in the house that we do, maintaining the life that we do.

Being a working mother has been a role that I sometimes have mourned, but this morning I am being thankful.

Thankful for my education and for my career, two things that I so often take for granted.

Grains of Gratitude

Seems like there have been a lot of bummers this week. Lots to pray for. Lots of worries.

Still, I know there are things to be grateful for. For example:

• Took my kids for their 15 month and 4 year well-child exams at the pediatrician on Monday and they both received clean bills of health. I'm so thankful that both kids have stayed so healthy this summer (knock on wood) and that their overall health is so strong.
• For a partner in this crazy world. My hubs may drive me crazy ten times a day (twenty?) and I him, but we are certainly in it together. I just received a very upsetting note from an old friend who has filed for divorce this summer. I did not see it coming and am so sad for her and her family. So sad. I'm grateful for my hubs and our decision to stick this marriage out together. For better or for worse and all that jazz.
• For a cool off in the weather. I sat outside a bit ago while Mason played and the breeze almost felt cool. Granted, it's 82 degrees outside, but it feels great compared to 99!

I'll end it there. It's a great thing to do, making a gratitude list. For even when I'm feeling blue, there are blessings to be counted.

Have a great week.

Don't let someone else splash mud on your windshield. Just remember turn on your wipers if they try.

Grains of Gratitude

This week, I'm grateful for so much. This morning in church I held my 4-year old as we sang praise songs. Tears sprung to my eyes as I realized what a wonderful 4 years it has been and how blessed we are that this little girl is the healthy, happy, creative, energetic person that she is. It is too much.

I will post all about the big number 4 birthday tomorrow. It's been too long since I've posted pictures and will do so when I get the party pics uploaded.

I am so grateful to my mom, she helped me a ton yesterday! I was getting the dinner together and also trying to run games and activities for the kids. She finished up my meal prep so I could entertain the children and start the party. Then she helped me clean up last night and this morning. Her energy is incredible and I marvel at her skillful tidying. I wish it was genetic!

It was great that the party went so well, something I am definitely thankful for. And finally, I'm just so glad we had a chance to spend time with family. Brenna's b-day party has become the one time of year that hubs' and my family get together and it really was fun.

Thank goodness.

Grains of Gratitude

There's something about being busy and taking the kids places that makes me feel like a good mom. I guess when we're home I'm distracted by so many other things, but when we're out and about I can really focus on them. This week was great for that.

Monday we stayed at home, but spent the afternoon in our backyard enjoying the kiddie pool and sand/water table. The kids loved this and I didn't even complain when most of the sand ended up in the pool and vice verse. It's so fun to watch their imaginations at work while playing outside.

On Tuesday, the kids went to their Aunt Lynn's so that I could get some work done. I'm down to the wire on some summer hours that I need to fulfill by July 15th. I was so grateful to the hubs' sis for taking the kids for about 6 hours!

On Wednesday, we went on an outing to the zoo. My cousin, her husband, and their three kids came to Omaha so that we could all go to the zoo. Our city boasts an awesome zoo and it was fun to host some out-of-towners. We get an annual pass and go quite a bit, but actually spent five hours there that day.

On Thursday, we went to the Children's Museum with Aunt Lynn and her two boys, Tyler and Trevor. Our city also has this great children's museum that just was remodeled. The kids had a blast!

On Friday, Brenna's preschool teacher (who is off for the summer) called to see if we wanted to meet them down at the park near our house (about a five minute drive) for a play date. I accepted and took the kids down there for about an hour in the morning. Then on Friday night, we drove down to Lincoln to eat dinner with my cousin and her family (the ones who came to the zoo) and say good-bye to another cousin who's moving to Florida. We got home late that night, but it was so worth it to spend a few hours with family. There's nothing like being with people who've known you your whole life. Whose stories are all wrapped up in your own. Who know the value of a pudding pop.

Saturday was a day for running errands with hubs and getting a few things done around the house. Then in the afternoon we let the kids do some more swimming in the back yard and daddy even joined them in the pool! I was so grateful to hubs because he stayed home with kids on Saturday night so I could go to scrap mania at a local scrapbook store with my sister-in-law Lynn and scrapbook for 6 hours in their work room. That was so fun and I'm getting caught up on Brenna's scrapbook finally!

Today we went to a new gym that just opened (and hubs joined) that has a huge outdoor pool complete with zero-entry kids' area. It was so fun and the kids loved it! Then we went to a cookout with my in-laws, hubs' parents hosted a great supper meal and the kids ran through the sprinkler.

I'm tired just writing this all down, but it was such a fun week! I love staying busy and was grateful for all of the fun summer activities that we were able to do!

Thanks, Christine, for hosting Grains of Gratitude. And thanks to Michelle for inspiring me to do it!

Grains of Gratitude

This week what I was most grateful for was TIME. We have been so busy this summer, it seems like every week would pass where we had been out and about every day. This past week, we just stayed home. We spent every afternoon after naps outside (which made for a pretty bleak situation come supper time!), we lazed about in the mornings, the kids enjoyed some R & R. And so did I. I was also able to get a little housework done, which of course has since been destroyed.

Starting tomorrow we have another busy week. Seems like every day we have an appointment that takes us out of the house. That's why I'm so glad that for the week of June 18th, we had plenty of TIME to spend together!

Grains of Gratitude - The Vacation Edition

We made it! It was a LONG day of driving - all.day.long.

I didn't read a single page of a single book. I did manage to get through one edition of In Style magazine and picked up an issue of In Touch (gossip rag) at a gas station because the cover story on celebs without make-up sucked me in.

Mostly I enjoyed the scenery. And reaching back every 10-15 minutes to retrieve a thrown pacifier, get the girl a new movie, doll, drink, whatever. The boy ate us out of every snack we'd brought so there was lots of reaching around for that as well and then the subsequent wiping involved. Hubs drove the entire way both ways, admittedly because he did not want to deal with all of the turning, feeding, wiping, retrieving. I couldn't really blame him.

All in all, they did great. We had a great time. It was a great trip. All in all.

Pictures and a few stories from the road tomorrow. Now I must get myself to bed.

It's great to be home!

Grains of Gratitude

PERSEVERANCE

When I was pregnant with Brenna, I decided to go back to school. I had a degree in social work and was working for state govt in disabilities service coordination. I loved it, but wanted more direct contact with people with disabilities. My job had become 95% paperwork/desk work, and I wanted more. I loved working with my school-age clients and loved attending their meetings, especially when I got to go to school. It irked me that so many teachers did not understand community-based services for people with disabilities and all that it entailed. They seemed to know only what went on in the walls of their school and nothing else. I knew I could do better than that.

My husband was also a teacher, which made the teacher's schedule enticing, thinking of being home during snow days, holidays, summer - especially now that we would have a child. So I started the process of applying to grad school. I would get a master's degree and be endorsed to teach high school special education. I started in January 2004, my little Brenna was just 6 months old. I took two night classes per week and leaving her on those nights was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I worked 7:30-4:00 every day and then also left her home with daddy two nights a week. She barely noticed, but I sure did. I spent every minute I had with her. Evenings, weekends, holidays. I was with my baby. Then when she went to bed, I studied. It was grueling. I thank God that I had such a good husband, who was a good daddy. Without the hubs (and God, for that matter), none of this would have been possible.

I went to school for two years and eight months. It was hard. It was exhausting. I just kept telling myself that in the long run, it would be best for our family. In that time, that I was in school and also working, I got a new job (teaching on a provisional certificate until I finished school), we moved, we had a second child, and hubs and I both got new jobs this year. I can't imagine how we made it through. We were physically, emotionally, and financially spent.

Graduation Day ~ August 2006

But now I'm home. For eight weeks. With my kids. I am finally reaping the fruits of my labor. I am enjoying time with my family after a very fulfilling first official year of teaching. We are going on our first family vacation this week to Colorado. I feel so content. This is what all of that work was for. I shed so many tears, wondering if I was doing the right thing. Now I know, this is exactly what I was meant to do. I am satisfied.

The kids won't remember that I was busy with grad school when they were infants. That their dad stayed home a few nights week while I finished up. Heck, Mason attended 9 graduate hours in utero, that should give him some advantage, right?! What they will remember is that it was me who was home with them on summer breaks. That we spent Christmas vacations home together. That I was passionate about helping kids with disabilities and also about being their mom. I believe this. I believe that it's all working out for the best. And that feels good.

This week, I am so grateful for perseverance. It has led me to the balanced life that I so desired.

Hey - Thanks, Christine, for hosting Grains of Gratitude! It's my favorite post of the week!

Grains of Gratitude

This week I am grateful for life.

I am healthy. My kids are healthy. The hubs is healthy. For this, I am so grateful.

We celebrated our 6th anniversary yesterday. We went out for dinner with my folks and I was so appreciative to them for buying us dinner. It was a special treat, going out sans children. I really enjoyed this Wallaby Darned beverage(s)...so much that I had two!

It's finally summer and it feels so odd. To not have to get up for work tomorrow! I am so grateful that I don't have to get up at 5:30 for the next 9 weeks! Praise God for that!!!

Grains of Gratitude

I'm grateful this week for support. I've struggled all week with a nasty cold (or allergies?) and had help from several good friends. My co-teacher, Timaree, who helped me out with the students while I finished up end of the year grades, paperwork, etc. To my cousin, who has become my partner in weight loss. She helped me remember my priorities when I really wanted to drown my sorrows in a pint of ice cream. And my classroom para, Natalie, who helped me with grading, kids, schedules...you name it. She has been so helpful this year and really doesn't get the praise (or pay) she deserves for all of her hard work. It's nice to have help when you aren't 100%.

Only 1 1/2 days of school!!! That is doable. That is so doable. I think I might actually survive my first year of teaching. I'm so grateful to have made it in one piece. The kids I've taught this year have been such troopers, with everything we've been through. I'm grateful for such great students!

Good luck to all - as everyone winds up for summer! It's going to be a GREAT week!

Grains of Gratitude

Gratitude. There are so many things to be grateful for. So many. Tonight I plan to make this post short though, because I'm trying so hard to go to bed early. I've come down with a nasty head cold and my head is full of goo. In a little bit, the Benadryl will kick in and I'll be off to sleepy town. I'm grateful for that for sure.

• I'm also grateful that hubby covered for me this morning and helped out with Brenna's preschool Sunday School class. I had offered to sub this morning, but was just a wreck. Head ache, chills, stuffed up nose. Didn't think I should go and share my germs!
• For a semi-relaxing weekend. We did a lot, but were at least able to stay in town. Seems like any plans we end up with always require travel, it was nice to be home.
• Today I was grateful for a nice, spring breeze. We went to a nearby high school and flew kites with the kids. Brenna has been fascinated with kites because of the Berenstain Bears (we've seen the kite episode several times on PBS and also own the book!) and has also been watching Mary Poppins. This was so exciting for her and the day was perfect for it!
• For only one more full week of school! Summer vacation is just around the corner and in 10 days, the school year will be finished. Woo hoo!

Must drag myself to bed now. 5:30 will come awfully quickly...I'm hoping that tomorrow I will feel better.

I'm thankful for Christine, who started Grains of Gratitude. It is becoming one of my favorite posts of the week! And a wonderful way to spend Sunday, reflecting on the GOOD things that are in my life. Feel free to play along!

Have a great week.

Grains of Gratitude

We got home from my parents' yesterday evening. I was sort of useless for the rest of the evening, aside from watching the kids play in the sprinkler, washing out the kiddie pool, drawing with sidewalk chalk, putting two little ones through the bath and getting them to bed, and then a little laundry and a Sunday night TV show. Our house sort of smells like a locker room, it has been so humid lately. I try to get all trash taken out and keep the laundry up, but nothing seems to help keep that smell at bay for too long. I can't imagine what it will be like when I have teenagers!

But that is not what I'm grateful for. I guess that was to explain why I didn't get my grains up last night. Here are the things I am grateful for in the past week:

• My mom and hubby's mom. We both lucked out in that category and ended up with caring, nurturing moms. Moms who don't let ya down. Moms who you want to talk to on a bad day. I hope I will be that kind of mom to my kids some day.
• A nice trip back to my hometown. My parents live in the country and have so much for the kids to do outside. They enjoyed the swings, sprinkler, sand box, outdoor play kitchen, and acres of green grass. I was grateful for the sunshine that allowed us to be outside playing.
• A safe trip home. It's always nice to be back in your own bed.
• A day to look forward to. Hubby and the kids gave me a certificate for a back massage, which I plan to use the day after school's out. A little incentive for surviving the next 3 weeks!

Grains of Gratitude

Top of my list this week: my kitchen counter redo. How fun to have an update to a part of our house that was so run down. Now we're talking really boring updates like furnace/air cond/water heater. BO-RING!

I'm also so thankful for my parents, who were so supportive as I reached the breaking point this week. They came to the rescue, two-hour drive and all, and took some time to comfort me. I'm so grateful to have parents whose visits are a comfort to me, rather than the alternative.

Grateful for spring. Grateful for rain. Grateful for the approaching end of the school year.

I love May!