TEN

Pieces of the life we've been living for the past decade have been falling away for a while now and I've barely noticed.

Suddenly, I realize that everyone in the house is capable of eating, bathing, dressing and completing numerous other tasks on their own. No assistance needed.

There are less and less little toys found laying around in random places. I smile a little when I do find the odd Lego here and there, I'm not ready for it to all be over!

There is no need to go to the baby aisle unless we are shopping for a friend. No need for diapers, bottles, rattles, or binkies. Those things have been long gone for quite some time. I feel the toy aisle becoming less and less of a draw. I know our days there are numbered too!

I rejoice in each new milestone and in each step we make.

But, at times, like the eve of my baby's tenth birthday, I step back and see where we are and think about where we have been. The Hubs and I are now parents to two very capable kids. Kids who are growing tall. Kids who are smart, funny, loud, quirky...and ours.

The countdown is on, we have passed the halfway point for having kids at home. It is beautiful...but can also make the heart ache a little...

Images like this one don't help with the melancholy...but the nostalgia sure feels good!

4/11

The Buddy at 2 weeks

We spent a full day celebrating the birthday of our Buddy.

He's 8! On their birthdays, I like to tell my kids about how little they used to be. We talk about their quirks and firsts. Today was no different.

He's almost done with second grade and now I can barely lift him off the ground without a 1-2-3 jump count.

If I close my eyes, I can still remember this little guy. My tiny Buddy.

NINE

Somehow, we went from this...

to this...

Our Bee.

Each parent can name the unending list of wonderful adjectives to describe the children that they love so much and I am no different.

This child is so creative, energetic, bold, and clever.

She still enjoys playing and does so with great zeal every day. This summer alone she has been a spy, detective, puppy, wedding organizer (stuffed animals), gardener, caretaker to fairies and an actress. I know that list doesn't include every scene she's done, but those are the ones I've known about!

Being here to watch her grow from the tiny bean who came into this world on this date nine years ago into the tall young lady she is today has been one of my life's great adventures.

Happy Birthday Bee.
Thanks for letting us come along for the ride!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SIX

My Buddy turned six. SIX. We are now the proud parents of two full-fledged school-agers.

There were cupcakes on Easter, a birthday cookie at his party on Tuesday, six candles in his birthday doughnut on Wednesday morning, and birthday singers with his ice cream sundae out to dinner Wednesday night. Celebrate, yes we celebrate, how could we not?! Life is grand.

On Thursday morning, he woke up to huge excitement. "MY TOOTH IS LOOSE!" Six for twenty-four hours and he's got his first loose tooth.

"It feels good to be six," said Buddy. I'll bet it does.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little trip down memory lane. The year our Bee turned 3. Look at that sweet little face.

Now it's five years later and we are approaching her 8th birthday. Time has a funny way of going really fast, but it also seems like that was so long ago. I'm not sure how that can be. All I know is that I'm so glad that I have the pictures to look at. To remember such fun times.

Pinatas. Ballons. Slip-n-slides. Games. Cake. More cake. Lots of laughs. And kids running everywhere. I get a little nostalgic for those parties, time and geography and made them a bit harder to do. I'm just so glad we had the chance to have so much fun. What better way to celebrate the birthday of such a great girl?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EIGHT

This summer I will always remember as one of great growth and development for our Bee. She'll be eight next week. On her birthday, we will be at an amusement park in Kansas City. She will probably be riding her first roller coaster. She will be EIGHT.

Over the holiday weekend she lost two teeth in 24 hours. She's suddenly got the standard jack-o-lantern smile of any school age child.

She jumped off of the diving board for the first time ever on the second day of swimming lessons two weeks ago. It was with zero hesitation that she took her first dip in the deep end.

She tried out a rope swing on a lake and rode on a tube behind a boat minutes after her very first boat ride. She thought that a day spent at the lake was the very best thing she'd ever done (she feels that way often) and that it was definitely the BEST DAY EVER.

Maybe because she's our first, we've sheltered her a bit. Suddenly she's in the big world and trying new things with more energy and delight than anyone I've ever met. She's excited by small things and still loves being a kid.

It's off to third grade in August and I can only imagine what's next. I'm so glad to be her mom.

Honest, generous, creative, and sweet. Our Bee is such a joy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FIVE

"You melt my heart." I told him that, just now. "What's melt?" he asks me. I pat my chest and tell him that he makes my heart hurt, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. Then they were playing a game, they are running away. He actually stopped to make sure I was okay. I pretended to be distraught, and his eye began to water for real, he didn't want to upset me. "I wouldn't really want to leave you", he wanted to make sure that I knew.

And now my baby is five. His birthday was Monday and we're spending a birthday week of family visits and a friend party and cakes and cookies and doughnuts.

I've registered him for school. We've got the kindergarten round up on Friday.

When he was first here, just newborn, we spent 10 tired days sleeping on the couch. I could lean over and lay him in his carrier and he would cry. He just wanted to be right there, up on my chest. I would pseudo-sleep, propped up, so terrified that I would let him slip or fall. I joked to J that he would think his name was Buddy, because I called him my little Buddy. Wherever I go, he goes.

It's been that way a bit this year. We spend hours and hours together. Buddy and me. It's been the perfect, perfect way to spend the year before kindergarten. The bond is solid, he has no question where we stand. If he will allow it, he will be my Buddy for as long as I live.

Sigh.

So he's five. And the years he has spent on earth have been beautiful and wonderful and fantastic.

And the other morning he informed me that herbivores eat only plants and that his eczema is complicated.

Oh the places he will go.


I love you, Buddy. With all of my melted heart.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

October 3rd

It's supposed to be special. Yeah? Your birthday.

It has been, for the most part. But...

Turning 33 doesn't seem all that special. It's just another year. To be honest, I prefer even numbers so always enjoy when my age returns to a number divisible by two.

What I do know is this, early to mid October tends to be a time of year when I'm bummed. I have felt that, even today. With all of the changes recently, I feel it more acutely. Displaced. Out of sorts.

Bummed.

So my plan is this.

During the month of October, I am going to make PLANS to make it a more fabulous month. I will not get bogged down by the fact that I live in a new place and that things are so up in the air (a house that won't sell in Omaha, a new job here, deciding if/when to return to teaching, and so on).

I will choose gratitude, joy, and prayer.

I will not let the sadness get me, not this year. Not happening.

Tomorrow after school, we're heading out in the country. I'm hoping to pick apples and think I've found the place to do so. Something to look forward to. Something fun.

That's what I'm going to do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LUCKY SEVEN

Yesterday, my B turned seven. I got an email newsletter that said this is a time in a child's life that parents usually really enjoy. The child is more independent, but still enthusiastic and wanting your nurturing attention. I agree completely. For the most part, our B is a happy, helpful, sweet little girl.

For her birthday we did our usual morning donuts with a candle and presents from the family. Since B's birthday is always during summer break, we can take the whole day and spend it together. Then last night we had a party with friends and one of those bounce house places. She even let her brother invite two friends and they were able to see their good friends one more time before we move next week.

I was telling B how when she turned two, we were staying with her grandparents. We had just moved to Omaha and had a couple of weeks between closing dates. Here we are, five years later, and we're on the move again.

At seven...

B loves Barbies, American Girl dolls, Disney channel, time with friends, swimming, and music. We've listened to a lot of Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez this summer. She is less enthusiastic about subtraction, riding her bike without training wheels (still practicing that one), and being outside when it's hot.

She's one of a kind and I tell her all the time, I'm so lucky to know her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Four for Now

Four!

It was one of those perfect days. We had family over to celebrate M's 4th birthday. The first cook-out of the season. Hamburgers, hot dogs, salads, veggies, fruits...all of the perfect food that we love this time of year.

If the day had a theme, it would be LEGO'S. He's four now and LOVES LEGO'S! He's also got a set of golf clubs (he's actually hitting balls at me as I type) that he's very excited about and some moon sand that he's itching to open.

The kids played outside and no one had to yell to shut the door because of hot or cold, in fact, no one really even noticed one way or the other. There were as many kids at the party as grown ups...we may have even been out-numbered by one or two.

I can't remember more perfect weather, the sun was shining and the wind being mercifully still for once.

Right now, he's begging me to come and help him make ONE MORE Lego house. Just one more. Yeah right.

Last night I tried to convince him that maybe he could turn two today. And one next year. And we'd keep going up to four and back again forever. Because four is so big. And the beginning of everything.

I'm just so grateful that we've had these four beautiful years with this wonderful boy. My M.
Can't wait for whatever's next!

July 21st

My B turned SIX. It seems like a turning point. No longer a toddler. Preschooler. Kindergartner. She is a school-age child who dreams big and loud.

It is with the usual hoopla that we celebrated another birthday. I don't know if it's because it's in the summer and I'm home from work, but we seem to do lots for anniversary of her birth each year.

We've had a family BBQ each summer where the Hubs and I invite both sides, which ends up being quite a lot of people. We also invited a few friends this year too, which made for good fun. Then on Tuesday, it was our traditional b-day doughnut with a candle and morning presents. She was confused at first, wondering who had joined Catherine (her doll on the right) for a party. Is it mine? She was shocked. An American Girl doll was waiting at the party, just for her. Now she will be able to find a doll that's her very own when the catalog comes in the mail. She has two friends that can sit at the table and share clothes and secrets. It's all very fun!

In the afternoon, we took cupcakes to friends at daycare and then headed off to a local hotel to enjoy their super-fun water park. An overnight stay and another swim in the morning left us all tired and in need of a nap!

Then it was Wednesday. And my baby girl was SIX. She said it over and over. I'm not five any more. It's something that has her very excited. Going to first grade. Impatiently waiting to lose her first tooth. Hoping to pass the swim test to ride the water slide at the Y. There's something magical about this age. If her birthday was any indication, we are in for another terrific year.

Six roses for six sweet years

Now I Am Three

So I will figure out that I can open the freezer. The freezer!

Mama keeps popsicles in the door, so that's awe-some.

I figure if I yell something, it will be so.

If I want to change my clothes and mama says no, how can she say no if I pee in them? Logic. Perfect.

I will get really, really mad if my mama steals the popsicle that I stole from the freezer. She ate it right of me. That's just mean.

When I'm mad, I cry. Loudly.

I can be sweet.

I like to pat my mom's back and tell her I love her.

I don't like falling asleep alone, so come down to bug my parents. They like it when I do that.

But really, I'm just learning how to be three. On the cusp of starting preschool next fall. Getting ready to spend the summer with my mom.

It's a window, really. A moment in time when I'm right between toddler and preschooler. Nothing can stop me now!

Happy B-day Hubs!

He might not remember that the first of his birthdays we spent together, we had been engaged for two days. It sort of eclipsed the whole turning twenty three thing. We met friends downtown and there were lots of "Congratulations! Let me see the ring! Oh...and happy birthday J."

Looking back, the past eight years have been my favorite. The best parts of my thirty one years. He likes to kid because I turn the next age two months before he does. I'm the older woman.

So today we're the same age again. It's eight years later. The ring is still on my finger. Be still my heart.

Love you, J.

Baby Mine

Our boy is this energetic, smart, funny little man.

I call him little man because of his strut. If you could see it, you would understand. Shoulders back, swagger, so confident. Such a little man.

Today my little man turns TWO.

He's been in the two's room at daycare since February. He's been telling everyone, "I two!" since we took cupcakes there on Tuesday. He's been looking and acting like a two-year old for months.
What I will remember as my boy turns two:
* the way he calls dinosaurs "di-no-nos"
* the way he can tell you shapes and colors from his books
* his ABC song, "A-B-C-D-M-M-M-M-M...YAY!!!"
* his temper and quick request for forgiveness, "So-ey" with a hug
* his love of reading and being read to
* his Lightning McQueen obsession
* how he starts telling you something with a hey, "Hey Mommy! Hey Daddy!"
* his laugh, oh! his laugh

Our little M is a joy to have in the house. He is a ball of energy.
He creates the perfect balance for our little family.
My little boy.

Happy Birthday, M!

Dear Buddy,

Mommy's going to be one very tired lady on your first birthday. It's tomorrow. Your first birthday is TOMORROW. I was laying in bed just now, trying so hard to fall asleep, when my mind started to wander. I knew I wanted to post a special tribute to your big day tomorrow, but wasn't sure when I would do it. I'm working during the day, since teachers don't get to pick their days off (and I would pick tomorrow if I could). After work I'll come pick up you and your sister to come home and get ready for a few visitors. Then it's an evening of greeting some family members who will drop in to wish you well and bring you presents. To bed at eight, as always. You've started spending your days in the 1-year olds' room this week and it's left you very tired by the end of the day.

So I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep and wondering why I couldn't. I'm usually in bed and asleep by 10:00. It's 10:30, I should really be asleep. It hit me like a ton of bricks. It was 10:30 on the nose on this very night last year when I went into labor with you. And so begins my tribute, I will tell you (and the world, apparently) of your arrival into this world. It is a story worth telling, trust me.

At 10:30 p.m. on the night of April 10th, 2006, I went to bed and tried to fall asleep. I had a contraction. A contraction! I was so excited - I had been waiting for any sign that you were on your way. Your first sign was a pretty strong contraction. I laid in bed after that, sitting up every little bit as I would have more contractions. I wondered, should I be watching the clock? So I did. About 10 minutes apart or so. No biggie. I labored like this with Bee for a day and a half. My thinking was that I would go into my scheduled appointment with the OB/GYN the next day at 11:40 a.m. and would probably get admitted into the hospital to have you. That's sort of how it worked with Brenna, thought it would be fine if you wanted to do it the same.

I woke up your daddy around midnight and told him I'd been having contractions for about an hour and a half, so I'd probably need him to drive me to my doctor's appointment the next day at 11:40 a.m. I was thinking ahead, figuring I probably wouldn't be up for driving after having contractions for TWELVE hours. Did I really think it would take that long? But I'm getting ahead of myself...

The contractions continued. 7 minutes. 9 minutes. 11 minutes. Pretty regular for over an hour. Guess I should try to remember how regular and for how long before we go in. Everyone says labor as long as you can at home, it's better that way. It took almost two days for Brenna to come out, I figured you would be no different. Besides, I've had no sign prior to this that you were coming. This quick labor came as quite a surprise!

Around 3:30, I got nervous. I woke your daddy up (yes, he slept the whole night as Mommy labored right in the room) and called the doctor's. They said call the labor & delivery at the hospital. Okay. Calling them, having trouble talking a lot by then. Contractions are every few minutes. They say come on in and get checked. Okay.

4:00 a.m. The big daddy of all contractions brought me to my knees in the bedroom. I'm stumbling around by then because I haven't got a bag packed yet. That's on tomorrow's to do list. You know by now, Mommy's a last minute kind of gal. Grandma and Grandpa are on their way to get Bee. Daddy's getting excited, though a little nervous due to the heavy breathing and loud moans and groans from Mommy. I'm not going to lie, Buddy, by then it was getting serious.

I got to the van at about 4:30. Dropped to my knees in the driveway and shouted so loud I thought I'd wake the neighbors. Contractions are a minute apart by now. Mommy's tummy really hurts now. On the way there, Mommy kept saying, "I can't do this." And also some other things that I can't type here. You know Mommy doesn't usually say swear words, but tonight was a special night and I said them all. I didn't know it then, but I was in what they call "transition". So we got to the hospital. I only dropped to my knees once in the parking lot and then they got me into a wheelchair. I will call in the wail chair, because I was one loud mama. They checked me right as they wheeled me up to the table. We were just in time because your Mommy was at 10 cm. when we got there and I was ready to have you!

I'll spare you the details of the rest. Let's just say I pushed twice about 15 minutes later and it was all over but the stuff you really don't want me to talk about. And you were beautiful. And the nurses forgave me for the swatting and the swearing and the sputtering. You were worth it.

The story made it all over the hospital. About the baby who was born at 5:02 a.m. to a Mommy who had gotten there 20 minutes prior. And I loved you from the very first moment. You completed our happy little family and we haven't looked back once. We may not have planned to have you when we did (just a couple of years earlier than our plan) and we may have barely made it to the hospital, but you have been a wonderful blessing since your very first breath.

Thank you for being a beautiful baby. Thank you for becoming a loving and adventurous toddler. I will do my best to teach you to be a respectful and kind young man who is, above all, not a jackass.


I love you, Buddy. I really do.