Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Nearing the end of year four

His drawings change frequently now. Someone else may not notice. But his mama does. There are bodies now, not just legs sprouting from heads. There is movement, color, expression.

He grows and grows. He likes to tell people that Pluto is a dwarf planet and that they can send a robot to Mars. He pretends his legos are penguins and shoes and spaceships.

Soon he'll be four. And I'll still be his mama. Even if being his mama looks nothing like it did three short years ago.

Slow down, Buddy. Mama can't keep up.

He saw his picture online just now and was pleased when I told him I wrote a story about the pictures he draws. So he drew a picture of the planets and asked me to add it here. Big smiles when I told him Grandma Marilyn reads my stories. He's drawn two more as I type, I could just keep posting and posting.

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Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Sunset at 6:00 PM Central Standard Time

I've been feeling a little bummed because it's February, which I don't really enjoy. It's dark and cold and there has been snow on the ground since December 8th.
Until tonight. I took B to her dance class at 6 o'clock, just like every Tuesday, but this wasn't pitch dark outside! Hooray! A subtle change. The sun is almost set now, at 6:14. I'll take it. The sun is easing its way around. We'll be tilted nearer soon and the sun will set later and later. The time of year when I feel lighter. Warmer.

For the past few years I've given up blogging in March. Not planning on it this year.

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday and I am giving up something. In past years it's been alcohol, blogging, etc. This year...candy. Yup. Candy. The good stuff. Including Chocolate. Why?!?! Why, you ask. It makes me feel good to give up something. It's like a constant reminder, every time I think to skip what I've given up. I'm also adding something, along with giving up something. So am going to walk on my treadmill four days a week, a habit to begin. A friendly little reminder of my beliefs, my faith, and what an important time of year it is.

That's it. In a nut shell. Not feeling so sad. Sun's not setting so soon. Not giving up blogging for March.
Totally binging on sweets tonight. Just chased a chocolate chip cookie binge with a Twix bar. Yummmmm.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Contentment (n): Synonyms: serenity, gladness, satisfaction, ease

The cyclical nature of the years passing is amazing to me. I do not exaggerate.

In October, I realized it was a down time for me and had been for several years. Maybe more.

Last night, I read old posts about friends and loss and sadness and realized this time of year is also very reflective for me.

I'm so grateful that I have my writing to look back on. To realize there are certain points when I feel a little low. When things get a little rough. I can count on the fact that I'll feel better soon. There's so much comfort in that.

The low isn't as low this year. The sting is not so acute. The pain is more of a memory than a current feeling.

I know that at some point there will be new sadness. New grief.
I guess there's also comfort knowing that I can take whatever life throws at me.

The peace I feel, I suppose is part of becoming a grown up.
Confidence in my ability to handle life's curve balls.

Today I want nothing more than exactly what I've got. Where I am.
What a gift. Contentment.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Yes Yes and Yes!

I'm such a fence sitter.
I'm a Libra.
Very much a frequent avoider of confrontation.
Wishy washy.

There are a few things, however, that can get this girl fired up.

Here is one! Click here to read a letter that makes me want to grab a sign and march. 

I live this EVERY day. I have loved MANY great folks in my life, some with disabilities. Okay, lots.
It's not too much to ask to just stop using the word.

Just don't use the word. And tell other people to stop it too.

Retard is an unacceptable adjective to describe something.
Regardless of how much of a point you want to put on it.

Just don't use the word.