I've been missing my friend, Jacque, immensely this past two weeks.
Tears spring to my eyes at the thought.
This tremendous redhead. This woman who radiated with energy and light.
She lost her fight with breast cancer on Thanksgiving and I think about her every day.
She wrote this about me last year and I think it might be the nicest thing anyone ever said about me.
Right now, it is so intense because I'm trying to register kids at school for next year's classes. This was the point last year when she got so sick. When she had to quit working. When the wheels came off for me at school. I had piles of paper and messes and stress. I remember how selfish I felt, just wanting her at work so that I wouldn't have to figure everything out by myself.
I was so upset that she was sick. I missed our daily talks. Our daily time. Time grew short quickly.
I just had no idea how very fast it would be. If I thought about it enough, regret would fill my heart for all of the missed opportunities to see her in her final time here. How does someone got shoe shopping one week and go into liver failure the next. It's unfathomable.
She was my mentor and I needed her so much. I need her still. As I start going through the piles of paper again. As I remember last year so vividly.
She was amazing.
She is still helping me.
I know that she is.
Jacque, you were this light to me. I need it now.
I am grateful to have been your friend.
My heart aches and my eyes sting when I realize that you are really gone.
My breath draws short and the sadness can fill me.
I will not let myself dwell. That would piss her off too.
Just tonight. I'm saying one prayer and lighting a candle for her.
I miss my friend.