Meandering

Yesterday at 11 AM, I marinated some chicken for supper while my lunch (left overs) heated up in the microwave. I left that in the fridge for later and headed downstairs to watch Brothers and Sisters on my DVR while I ate my left over spaghetti. The Buddy was watching a cartoon on the computer while he had an after-preschool snack. An unwinding of sorts.

This isn't how we do it every day. Some days there's lunch together at the table with meaningful conversation. We don't seem to do anything the same two days in a row.

When he was done with his snack, we played play doh and then went to pick up his sister. B and the Buddy played on the playground for a while when she came out because it was a beautiful sunny day and because they felt like it. I took them out for icees after that, just because.

I feel like a kid skipping school some days. Reading a novel smack dab in the middle of the day. Or watching a t.v. show. It's so weird.

This time is such a gift, this at-home year. My home is my priority and I've been trying to give our family as much of my time and attention as I can.

That being said, I also am still a human. Imperfect as ever. I still have rotten, poor-me days. My kitchen, right now, is destroyed. I need to do dishes and sweep up. I am not in a great routine with all of that yet. But am definitely working on it.

The thing about it is that I cannot believe how great it feels to be given this gift of time. This in-between breathing room. It's fantastic.

I just wonder if I'll ever realize that this is my REAL life and I'm not just playing make believe. Somehow it's not quite reality yet. It feels like vacation.

A really, really good vacation.
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