Thursday, October 7, 2010

Meandering

Yesterday at 11 AM, I marinated some chicken for supper while my lunch (left overs) heated up in the microwave. I left that in the fridge for later and headed downstairs to watch Brothers and Sisters on my DVR while I ate my left over spaghetti. The Buddy was watching a cartoon on the computer while he had an after-preschool snack. An unwinding of sorts.

This isn't how we do it every day. Some days there's lunch together at the table with meaningful conversation. We don't seem to do anything the same two days in a row.

When he was done with his snack, we played play doh and then went to pick up his sister. B and the Buddy played on the playground for a while when she came out because it was a beautiful sunny day and because they felt like it. I took them out for icees after that, just because.

I feel like a kid skipping school some days. Reading a novel smack dab in the middle of the day. Or watching a t.v. show. It's so weird.

This time is such a gift, this at-home year. My home is my priority and I've been trying to give our family as much of my time and attention as I can.

That being said, I also am still a human. Imperfect as ever. I still have rotten, poor-me days. My kitchen, right now, is destroyed. I need to do dishes and sweep up. I am not in a great routine with all of that yet. But am definitely working on it.

The thing about it is that I cannot believe how great it feels to be given this gift of time. This in-between breathing room. It's fantastic.

I just wonder if I'll ever realize that this is my REAL life and I'm not just playing make believe. Somehow it's not quite reality yet. It feels like vacation.

A really, really good vacation.
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4 comments:

Jenifer said...

I have been home now for four years and it still doesn't feel real some days. Having always worked since graduation university it was so strange at first, but eventually I got used to it. At first though, every day was like playing hooky.

I am so glad you are enjoying your time with your family AND remembering to steal a few moments for yourself.

LadyHash said...

So essentially you are having a year's worth of remedial maternity leave?

I'm just kidding. I've been out of the full time work force for 11 yrs. I've done part-time work, contract work (from home), then mothering, and now homeschooling. And I still feel like I'm some sort of cheater. I'm sure I'll pay my dues later.

Di said...

Everyday is a blessing...even those days when the kitchen is in need of attention. You are doing it right and soaking it all in. I am so happy you have this opportunity to ENJOY life in a different way. hugs, diane

Aliki2006 said...

I"m so glad you're enjoying it--you do seem so relaxed and peaceful! I have been craving an at-home year so badly...I wish I could do it. I've never felt the need to stay home as strongly as I have been lately...