In the Planning Phase

This week I'm dreaming of spring. Join the club, right?

We've got some garden space in a corner of our yard. It's sunny, spacious, and just outside the back door to our garage. There are some actual garden boxes, which were not planted last year. We have no idea what was in them previously.

I'm picturing herbs, tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots. There will be planting and mulching and weeding.

I'd love to get my kids involved, I think it would be a great way to get these town-living kids a bit more time outside.

Previous attempts at gardening on my part have been completely unsuccessful. Picture lots of weeds and ginormous, mutant zucchini squash.

My B is seven now, turning eight this summer. It's time I started taking more time to teach her the important skills of cooking, and the work that goes into bringing food into our home and to the table. Her brother starts kindergarten in August, I need to recognize that there are things he can be helpful with also.

I'm the stereotypical mom who is forever shooing the kids out of the kitchen. Cooking is my *me* time and it's time I got over that.

So I've got two goals for myself:
*putting my kids to work in the kitchen (prep and clean up)
*a small, successful herb/vegetable patch this summer

Dreaming of such things helps me get through this time of winter, when the sparkly snow is still beautiful, but we are all growing weary of the cold.
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I'm Fine

There's a scene at the end of Steel Magnolias where a friend asks Sally Field how she's doing following her daughter's funeral. She's says, "I'm fine." Then yells it, "I'M FINE!!!!!!!!!" She goes on to say that while her daughter is now buried in the ground, she is fine and healthy, and that it feels rotten.

That's a bit how I've felt this past week. My friends at the school where I taught up until this year faced tragedy. The kind that makes national news. It has been awful, gut-wrenching, and heart-breaking. But I'm fine.

It has brought back to my mind how much I miss my school and my friends there. I miss the routine of going there every day and seeing everyone. I miss teaching. But I'm fine.

They lost one of their administrators to this awful event, they will say good-bye to her tomorrow. The head principal was also shot and faces a long road back. The people left to run the school have a mountain of work ahead of them, all the while trying to deal with their own emotions.

Meanwhile I'm snowed in and unable to be there to give my friends a hug. But really, I'm fine.

I have so much swirling in my head about school shootings and angry teenagers and tragedies and why. But I'll just leave them there. This was something I thought about almost every day when I worked there, knowing that an angry teenager with a gun could cause so much pain.

There were people who told me last week that they were glad I wasn't there any more, that they were so glad that I was safe. It's been so weird how differently I feel about that. I can't be there, I wasn't there, and I'm fine.

Fine just doesn't always feel so good.

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Here We Are Again...

Our New Year's Eve was much the same as it's been the past two years. A new game to play with the family (this year - Jenga!), a movie, and toasts. I love making toasts as a family. The kids drink their sparkling juice in fancy glasses, Hubs and I enjoy a glass of champagne. To family! To another great year! To selling our house in '11! We also toasted to goals in the next year, the kids even made goals for Mollie, our family dog. Apparently she's going to get more exercise and pee ONLY outside.

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When I started writing here in 2006, it was just in time to make a list of resolutions. I feel like I've kept those same resolutions year after year, because really, they are not the kinds of things you can do and then be finished with? They are mostly just a list of things I want to be doing all the time as a functioning member of my family, so plan to keep doing now, four years later.

I have some resolutions for TODAY.
* Take down the Christmas tree and put the storage containers in the basement.
* Finish 2010 photo book, which is my annual new year's tradition.
* Make lasagna.
* Eat lasagna.

Lofty goals for this cold winter's day.

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