Saturday, December 15, 2007

Back Up

I've been struggling for the last hour with the urge to delete my earlier post.
I am a optimistic person who tries to stay positive. It's very hard for me to "talk" about the dark side. But it's there, even if I hide it most of the time.

A few of the closest people in my life recently have questioned my motive and the purpose of blogging. The most influential person in my life said that she doesn't get it, that it does not seem like a good idea, and she doesn't know why I put myself "out there" for others to comment on.

That has definitely slowed the internet introspection at Omaha Mama.
Because I couldn't really answer to it.

I've journaled since third grade.
And probably secretly wished someone could or would read my angst and talk with me about it. I'm not a very private person, but I tend to keep things close to my heart that are troubling me personally. This blog tends to let me vent, brag, write, read. All things that are good and healthy for me.

I like to blog.
I like the hobby.
I love the writing.
And the reading.

I just wish a little that I had kept it a secret from a close few.
From the ones who don't get it.

For those who do, I'm glad you are here.
I'll try to keep posts like my earlier one to a minimum.

I'm rambling and I realize this.
My head and heart are just so full.


Joyful Days said...

My IRL friends do NOT know that I blog. I've thought about tossing it out for conversation and it just is not a good idea. Maybe some day.

My husband knows, but rarely reads, my sister knows and is mystified by it--she thinks it is a dear diary thing. She doesn't read it. Which is fine. But I let them know because I refer to them and so I feel it is fair that they have access. My sons think it is cool and want their own blogs.

My blog is a part of me, but not all of me. I posted a couple times about my mother's death, but like you said in your previous post, it wasn't mine to write about.

A long-winded comment to let you know that I think I can empathize with what you say. And my heart goes out to you for the loss of your friend and for the others you love with cancer.



bubandpie said...

I think it's unfortunate that you feel the need to justify a pastime that obviously gives you some kind of return on the investment of time, effort and emotion that goes into keeping a blog. Maybe you can't articulate why it's important to you, but why should you have to?

And there's no rule that bloggers have to keep things positive. Quite the reverse, really. ;)

Jenifer said...

I agree with B&P - it is your blog and you can write about whatever you choose - whatever is in your heart and head at that moment.

I have told some people, but not very many. I fear that there will be many people who will not get it. In fact, none of my closest family members or friends know, with the exception of my sister.

Blogging is important to me too and even if no one else understands it, it gives me something, obviously you feel the same.

There is nothing that needs justifying about that.

Beck said...

Most people in my life know about my blog and most people are very positive. A very few have expressed the same doubts your friend has and while they're valid for THEM, it doesn't mean that blogging doesn't have a lot of value for ME.

Michelle said...

I hope you don't decide to stop blogging as I would miss reading! Sorry you were made to feel that way and I hope you know you are making a difference out in the bloggy world :)

Anonymous said...

Why is blogging any different than sewing or scrap booking or building model airplanes or any other hobby? It means something to you right now. That is all the reason you need for doing it.

I haven't told anyone I blog because of that stigma. Why should I need to justify my hobby. It's not like I'm into the Sims. Now that's a DUMB way to spend your free time.

Twinny said...

Hey cuz,
Please don't let anyone tear you down for laying your thoughts out for others to see. I go by Grandma's saying, "better out in the big world, than in the little tummy." Humans are social beings. We have the desire to be heard and listen to others. In the days of technology this is a new way to connect to each other. What better way to connect to someone else's thoughts any time of day and know that others out there go through the same highs and lows? I say blog on, if you ever doubt that someone is listening, know that I'm hear waiting with bated breathe hoping that the holidays find you well, and praying when they don't. Luv, Cousin Twinny

Midwest Beach Girl said...

some do not understand our desire to purge our thoughts much like we do not understand their need to keep it inside. One opens you up to criticism, the other opens up ulcers.....I prefer the criticism :)