Apples!

Early in October, the kids and I drove out into the country after school. There's a small apple orchard where you can go walk around and then purchase apples. What a fun day. The weather here has been perfect this month. As it dips a little lower in temperatures each week, I'm sad to see it go.

I guess I'm just glad that we took lots of opportunities to enjoy it while it lasted!

Meandering

Yesterday at 11 AM, I marinated some chicken for supper while my lunch (left overs) heated up in the microwave. I left that in the fridge for later and headed downstairs to watch Brothers and Sisters on my DVR while I ate my left over spaghetti. The Buddy was watching a cartoon on the computer while he had an after-preschool snack. An unwinding of sorts.

This isn't how we do it every day. Some days there's lunch together at the table with meaningful conversation. We don't seem to do anything the same two days in a row.

When he was done with his snack, we played play doh and then went to pick up his sister. B and the Buddy played on the playground for a while when she came out because it was a beautiful sunny day and because they felt like it. I took them out for icees after that, just because.

I feel like a kid skipping school some days. Reading a novel smack dab in the middle of the day. Or watching a t.v. show. It's so weird.

This time is such a gift, this at-home year. My home is my priority and I've been trying to give our family as much of my time and attention as I can.

That being said, I also am still a human. Imperfect as ever. I still have rotten, poor-me days. My kitchen, right now, is destroyed. I need to do dishes and sweep up. I am not in a great routine with all of that yet. But am definitely working on it.

The thing about it is that I cannot believe how great it feels to be given this gift of time. This in-between breathing room. It's fantastic.

I just wonder if I'll ever realize that this is my REAL life and I'm not just playing make believe. Somehow it's not quite reality yet. It feels like vacation.

A really, really good vacation.
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October 3rd

It's supposed to be special. Yeah? Your birthday.

It has been, for the most part. But...

Turning 33 doesn't seem all that special. It's just another year. To be honest, I prefer even numbers so always enjoy when my age returns to a number divisible by two.

What I do know is this, early to mid October tends to be a time of year when I'm bummed. I have felt that, even today. With all of the changes recently, I feel it more acutely. Displaced. Out of sorts.

Bummed.

So my plan is this.

During the month of October, I am going to make PLANS to make it a more fabulous month. I will not get bogged down by the fact that I live in a new place and that things are so up in the air (a house that won't sell in Omaha, a new job here, deciding if/when to return to teaching, and so on).

I will choose gratitude, joy, and prayer.

I will not let the sadness get me, not this year. Not happening.

Tomorrow after school, we're heading out in the country. I'm hoping to pick apples and think I've found the place to do so. Something to look forward to. Something fun.

That's what I'm going to do.
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The Park

It's my favorite season and every year I feel so blessed when it comes back around. We're lucky that there's a beautiful park where we live and it's going to be the perfect spot to celebrate the changing seasons. 

We walked around today in the warm sun, enjoying the beauty and colors.  

I stay focused on gratitude, thankful for all that I have.

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Preschool!

The kids have had so many FIRSTS this year, it's so great how resilient they are. How willing to try new things. Our little Buddy had been at his same childcare center since he was four months old. It was also our church, so it was a second home to us all. When he started preschool last year, it wasn't a huge deal - just a move down the hall.

This year though, what a difference! A whole new experience in a whole new place. Buddy started preschool the Tuesday after Labor Day. We are so lucky that Jay's first cousin had invited us to enroll at the preschool at her church, where she's the teacher this year. It is working out so perfectly, I'm so pleased with what a smooth transition it's been! He's also quite pleased at the fact that he gets picked up "before lunch" and it's just three days a week. Something he likes to point out to his sister at every opportunity!

                                       Posing with big sister, so excited to go to school now too!

                                    I love this one, all sweet with each other and ready for school.

                                                          Ready to go in...what a big day!

Would I take so many changes in stride the way that they have? Not sure. They are my inspiration to not dwell on things and just live in the moment. It has worked out great for them!

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Jolly Old England

First time on an airplane, first time in another country, first time to see the Atlantic Ocean

When I was eighteen, just weeks after graduating high school, I had the joy of traveling to Great Britain with classmates, our English teacher and a few chaperones. It was certainly the farthest I'd been from home and still is.

I loved every minute of that trip. While friends took naps on the bus, I sat with my face practically pressed to the window. I didn't want to miss one hillside, one fence, one barn. Thinking about it now, I get giddy just imagining 18-year old me drinking tea at breakfast with my best friend. Peeking out the hotel window at the lights of London. Ordering a drink! in the hotel bar, legally. Oxford, Stratford-upon-Avon, Canterbury, Bath, Brighton, London. It was AMAZING.

My mom's best friend travels a lot, she's seen so many places and actually took this trip with us as one of the grown ups on the tour. When I got emotional looking out from the top of Dover Castle, she said that I've surely lived in Dover in a past life. She was certain.

One pastime I've happily picked back up since staying home this fall is reading for pleasure. By pure coincidence I picked up a couple of novels by English authors at the library. As I've finished each one, I feel like every thought in my head has a British accent. This reading led to watching several of my favorite Jane Austen movies, which led to watching a British miniseries, which led to watching a movie about The Young Victoria. Netflix now recommends British Period Pieces to me in its creepy "I know what you're watching" way. I've taken most of their picks and loved them all. My brain continues thinking in a British accent and I wish I could find a way to use bollocks in daily conversation. I start calling things bit and saying 'round. I'm a wannabe. Wanna be British.

Today I began reading a biography about Queen Victoria and will then move on to a historical fiction piece about London. I can't get enough.

I hope some day that we can take a family trip to England. I'd love to take J to Stratford-upon-Avon, he loves Shakespeare. And I just know that he'd enjoy Oxford in the same way that I did. I'd love to retrace my teenage tour as an adult, to take it all in again.

Maybe if I start saving now, we can go when B

graduates from high school. I may have to start a shoebox.

For that's how it started for me then. I had a shoebox with a hole in the top. When I got to England I used that money to buy an Oxford sweatshirt, some purple pleather shoes, and a Gap tshirt (what the?!). It was the trip of a lifetime and I hope to share it someday with my family.

Until then, I guess I'll have to settle for movies and books...

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Grow where you are planted

Every afternoon we head back to the elementary school around 3. We park a little ways up the hill and walk over to get B. He waits with me or runs off to the playground. Good exercise, fresh air, a nice break in the afternoon.

Today he was fascinated by the grass, sprouting up tall and blooming. He picked me a bouquet. I was so happy to tell him what I knew about seeds and wind. It hit me right then how happy I am for this time. He's just four and so open to the world and learning. I'm so happy for the extra time I've got with him...and his sister...time that wasn't there before. That somehow maybe it will be what lingers in their memories. Picking grass on the walk up to see sis. Walking out from second grade and there's mom. Maybe she's looking a little worse for the wear, maybe she gets grumpy sometimes. But she's mom and she's there. Every day.

And so it is that I try to see past recent frustrations, trials, and even the kids' sadness over friends they are missing.

I tell them that home is wherever we are together, as a family. That Omaha would not be home without daddy. So here we are, making a home together.

And I do my best to let my kids bloom here, not unlike the grass in my kitchen window.


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