I didn't know that I would cry so much this month.
I lost my mentor and dear friend last Thanksgiving to breast cancer. I'd never known someone so brave.
I assumed that Thanksgiving would be difficult this year, thinking of Jacque. I didn't realize that the entire month of October would leave me crying puddles. Tearing up at the most unexpected times. At times, it feels so good to just let it out. Sometimes, I just get so sad.
It all started with Christina Applegate and Susan G. Komen's sister, Nancy, on Oprah. I don't usually watch, but did catch this episode. I didn't realize that I'd have to shut it off so that I could stop sobbing. I didn't know.
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I have been able to support breast cancer research when a friend at school hosted Lee Denim Day. And when a cousin ran the Race for the Cure. It feels good to get involved, even if it's not directly.
I assume that I will know others in my life who are diagnosed with breast cancer. It could even be me. The thing to remember is the hope. The fight. The survivors.
I'm a better person for knowing Jacque. I want to be a better person in her loving memory. No one ever wants to lose a best friend. I'm so very glad to have had that friend.
Even if it leaves me in tears every October from now to the end.