Sunday, April 6, 2008

Gulp

"If we're going to do this, we really need to commit and do it," I said bravely to the Hubs.
He nodded, looking slightly worried himself.

So I snipped the end off of his binkies (our little man's, not the Hubs')!

It was almost bedtime and it just struck me. He's going to be two this week. It's time to give up the binkies. He hasn't had one at daycare for over a month now and has napped fine. We've just been too lazy. It's so easy to put him to bed with his B-B (that's what the little man calls it) and he's out in minutes. I think we feared sleep strikes if he didn't have his B-B.

"M! Come here! Your B-B's, I think they're broken!" I felt so deceitful.
"Bwoke?" He came running.

And then it happened, he held those broken binkies in his hand and made the saddest little face I've ever seen in my life. His eyes welled with tears, his lip in a pout.

I cried with him.
Really.
Big, crocodile tears.

We got out the book I'd been saving for him. "Bye Bye Pacifier" (We switched that to Bye Bye Binky).

We read the book.
We called Grandma and Papa.

He said, "B-B's bwoke." About 50 times.
He'd get a little sad again, then we'd remind him that he's a big boy now!

I'm taking him tomorrow to get a big boy toy. Something I came up with out of guilt. It made him smile.

We'll see how tomorrow goes, but as of tonight, it seems to have gone fine. He went to sleep without a fuss. He's still asleep.

But there for a moment, I thought my heart would crack right in half.

My baby.
My boy.

Summer '06

15 comments:

jen said...

oh that is such a hard one. i couldn't manage to do it till M was three....and then i spent weeks convincing her to give them to another baby, smaller than her until one day she finally did.

totally brutal, isn't it?

Mama said...

It is tough and I'm glad you have J to stand by you. And then we say there's Santa, The Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, etc. Life is just a string of "little white lies". "Take your medicine, it tastes good!", "Just lay down for a little while, you don't have to go to sleep, just rest." and then the lies of omission, we don't tell them they get a shot at their kindergarten physical or that daddy has to be gone all day or grandpa and grandma won't be at their house tomorrow like they were today. etc. Learning about reality is tough but teaching it is rougher.

Omaha Mama said...

Oh thank goodness for J! When I was getting so emotional, he just held our little man and told him he'd be fine. At one point, my son looked worried about me? Mommy sad? Then he told me that he was okay. That binkies were all gone. And that he was happy. Okay.

He still got sad at bedtime, but I really think the worst of it was his discovering the broken binkies, looking so very sad. Knowing that I had caused it.

Blech.

nikkis30by30 said...

Ooohhhhh..... That just made me CRY!!! Big, crocodile tears..... Some things with parenting just really SUCK, don't they?!?!

LoriAnn said...

You are so very brave OM. It would be easy to take the easy way out and just let him have the binkies forever, but you did the right thing, which is often the hard and heart-breaking thing.

Mimi said...

Oh ... I'm not ready to do that yet. Munchkin uses her 'sucka' for naps, and night, and when she's hurt ... we'll probably try to phase it out AFTER the move ... You are brave. Well dones.

Twinny said...

Geez, OM. I suppose I should look at this as a preview of what's to come, but I'm probably even more frightened that before about the transition away from binks. Serenity now!

Twinny said...

Oh, and Happy B-day little man!

Midwest Beach Girl said...

He's two! Wow, it just seems like a few months ago that him and Alaina were little infants. Don't feel bad for buying those big boy toys. It's a rite of passage that he deserves! Go little man!

Aliki2006 said...

Oh, that's so tough! But necessary, and you handled it so sweetly.

Bea said...

I don't know if I'll ever have the courage to do it - Pie's going to be three in July, and she's still going strong. Mostly for naps, but if something upsets her, she'll head up (furtively) and grab one for comfort.

Beck said...

Aw, poor little man!

Jenifer said...

You did good! I know how hard it is and Papoosie Girl was nearly three when I cut her Pluggies...she told me to fix them with tape and then told me to go to WalMart and get more - clearly she was old enough to let go! The first night was tough, lots of tears and by the second night it was all over.

We did try before the cutting night to get her to give them up on her own, but that is not her style, it had to be cold turkey.

Rosebud got hers dirty last year on vacation and could not get them clean...sparky glitter from a toy she touched. Anyway, we got back to the hotel and it was like, "they are all dirty" and that was that. NO fuss at all. What is funny in several of the shots of the first half of the trip they are in a few shots and then they just disappear.

It is not the act that is hard, it is all that it symbolizes...it just tugs your heart to bits.

Michelle said...

aaawww that's so sad! I'm sure I would have cried too; but I'm glad to hear the first night went so well! They grow up so fast though...

kristi said...

Yep, we did the same thing, snipped off the end and my son stopped sucking them!