Tuesday, November 24, 2009

I Can't Say I'm Not Disappointed

I'm still very excited about the upcoming launch of the website Momaha.com

I think it's such a great idea. A way for moms to connect in a local site, I think it's going to be so much fun!

But I'm not going to be writing for them.

I had written a rough draft for what would have been my first post, possibly going up in February. I saw the editor's finishing touches and thought it was a pretty good post! Then I saw my name at the end. And my kids' names. And my husband's name...

And it hit me.

I can't do this.


So I wrote the editor a "WE NEED TO TALK" email and declined the offer to join the mom bloggers. I was bummed. Beyond bummed. I felt bad too, that I was leaving this editor, someone I had fun getting to know through emails, without one of her mom blog team members. I know how unexpected changes at work can create stress.

It just all came to me at once. I am a teacher. My husband is a school administrator. It occurred to me that I can't really be putting myself out there like that. Not really. What if I write something that ticks off someone off? What if someone creepy uses that public forum to "find us". What if, what if, what if. I know it stinks to think that way, but I have to think that way.

I have to maintain a certain objectivity and a very high level of professionalism in my career. The Hubs' too.

This tiny blog right here has been no problem, writing for a local site that is sponsored by our city's newspaper? Way too public for this mama.

So here is where I'll stay. Tiny. Non-monetized. Opinionated but semi-anonymous.

My future career as a famous blogger ended before it even began...

I'll leave you with my first post that will never be:
I tell people that being a mom is my very favorite thing I’ve ever done. And it is.

But it’s so much more than that, isn’t it?
There’s the wife part. The teacher part. The daughter-sister-aunt-cousin-friend-niece-granddaughter part.
The cooking, the cleaning, the driving, the planning.
It can be a lot at times.
Writing, for me, has been a great escape. A place to hide. Because where better to hide than on the Internet?!
Honestly, I find comfort in the company of others. But I don’t always have the time to actually spend WITH others. So if I can reach out — from home, in my jammies — why not?
I started blogging three years ago on a complete whim. I was completely hooked.
Blogging has been a constant for me over the past three years. It has been therapy. It has been a hobby, a distraction, an outlet. It’s been a way to catalog precious memories. Even sometimes to vent.
I am here to share those same moments.
Because sometimes there is just nothing better than being able to hear from someone else that they know exactly what you are going through, in good times or bad.
That’s my favorite part of blogging. And what excites me so much about momaha.com. What better place to connect with other Omaha moms?
So join me here. Join us here. It’s bound to be exactly what you’ve been missing.



Subspace Beacon said...

Well, that's too bad.

But I understand. I would NEVER blog with my real name. Even when I wrote for a small, city newspaper I used a pen name. Because I am PARANOID.

Was it not possible to compromise? To stay anonymous over Momaha.com?

Katy said...

When I taught, I was completely anonymous and I didn't tell anyone I knew in real life about my blog. I was THAT worried about it.

Now, I'm a SAHM and it's weird to "come out of the closet" and let people know my real name and stuff. I still haven't told anyone my husband's name. . . I figure that's his privacy, not mine.

Jen said...

I completely understand what you mean and your decision. It is a hard line to cross, isn't it?

MidwestTwinGirl said...

Oh cousin,
That's rough. I was so excited about you being the supreme blogger and was going to beg an introduction to Gerard Butler and Keira Knightly when they did their movie based off of your blogging road to fame.

But I see that it is never to be. Could it really be that important to have everyone real name? How silly.

Omaha Mama said...

She did offer to let me be anonymous. But if the whole point was to blog as Omaha Mama...I don't know. I just wasn't willing to even chance it. I guess I'm just happy with my comfy little blog.

Jenifer said...

Well I still think you are famous...my only Mom pal in Omaha. You did the right thing given the circumstances. Protecting yourself and family is the top priority.

Mimi said...

I'm impressed that you know yourself this well ... and before you put it out there. I'm of the same mind, actually. I guard that little bit of blog privacy even though it would be really easy to come out, and probably professionally. But hey, small is beautiful, right?

Aliki2006 said...

Oh, I was so excited for you...but good for you for making a strong decision.

Couldn't you be anonymous? Use pseudonyms--how difficult if they insisted on the real names...I understand where you're coming from, it is a leap and you are putting yourself out there, but I think using anonymity can be a happy medium.

Sarah said...

I'm bummed you're not going to be part of the Mom team - before I knew I was going to be, I enjoyed reading your blog! But I look forward to continuing reading here . . .


Michelle said...

I'm sorry this opportunity didn't work out for you, but it sounds like you made the right decision for your family; I'm just glad you've still got this blog going on :)